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Lips Together, Teeth Apart


Oh the joys of being single!  The crazy nights out, the boys flocking to you and throwing themselves at your feet, the endless nights of eating string cheese and sweet potatoes in your underwear while watching episodes of the View on your DVR. (Did you see Whoopi's shoes Fri? Amazing.)

Last night, I went out for the first time in 2 weeks to have a night out trolling for some hot men with the ladies! It was great! Great bar, great drinks, great company.  When I got up to wait in for the bathroom, this really hot guy started flirting with me.  SCORE.  We had a fun little back and forth for a little and it was on.  While chatting, I turned around for a minute and when I turned back around, he smiled at me and it was a smile that I will never forget. I won't forget it because he had no front teeth. Yup. You heard that right. He was missing his two front teeth. SERIOUSLY? Listen, I don't give a shit about the teeth. The real issue is that I just talked to this guy for 10 minutes and didn't realize he was missing his TWO FRONT TEETH! This is yet another reason why I am going to die alone.

I ran into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and while I was peeing, I said to myself aloud, "Lindsey.  Drink some vodka, eat a gingerbread cookie, and get your shit together."  

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