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Tuesday
Jan032012

New Years Resolutions - 2012

imgresYes, it's that time of year again.  A time where you swear to no longer eat cookies for dinner, promise to call your mother more, no matter how annoying and right she may be, and the time where you make a conscious effort to try not to check out men solely based on whether or not they have tattoos.  You try.   Here is a look at my New Year's resolutions last year.  Let's see how I did.

My 2011 resolutions:

1. No more drunk dialing ex boyfriends.... more than three times week. (I think I did a good job on this one.  I drunk dialed an ex in order to get laid, but no, "I miss you" "I hate you", or "how could you do this to me" so I think I did a good job.)

2. Only drink 4 times a week. The other 3 find something else to do. Like knitting. (I didn't knit but I did drink less this year.  Or maybe I drank less frequently but when I drank, I got wasted.  Hey if you're going to do it, do it right! I am keeping this one on the list for this year)

3. Work out. Even if you are hung over.... even if you are sweating out vodka soda limes...  just work out. (I stuck to this and plan to stick with this... I think it may be the secret to life.  I am currently training hungover for my second half marathon.. I am on the treadmill as we speak!)

4. Don't date anyone who wears a hoodie. (I still feel strongly about this, but I actually have a little crush on someone who sometimes wears hoodies.  When I saw him in it, I didn't freak out.. I kind of liked it...  so i either don't mind the hoodies or I just really like him.  This resolution is not set in stone.  I need to sleep on it)

5. Don't date anyone who orders pizza and eats it. (I still agree with this.  One or two slices a few times every few months when you're hung over or sad, or hate yourself, fine.  But besides that....  no pizza.)

6. Take a personal day once a week where you only do things that make you laugh. Like making fun of others. (Don't make fun of others, make fun of yourself.  But you can make fun of the Kardashians.)

7. Call your mother more. (I got this one covered and I'm keeping it because you should ALWAYS call your mother)

8. Start watching modern family... because everyone says it's funny...  I know you DVR it, but actually watch it. (I still DVR it and still don't watch it. Maybe this year I will)

9. Do something for you and only you every day... like masturbate. (Amen)

10. Don't date anyone whose winter coat has fur around the hood.  Just don't!  (I'm changing this to: Don't date anyone who wears anything with fur on it ever.)

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