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How to survive a road trip with your best friend and your dog

KELLY-LINDSEY-02Kelly, Oliver, and myself will be picking up our Dollar rental car in just a few hours to drive 10 hours to North Carolina. Here are a few must-haves and rules for our road trip:

Bring lots of snacks - Nothing too gassy.  Last time Kelly went on a road trip with friends she farted and it smelled so bad the others in the car said it smelled as though "there was a dead jeweled mummy hand rotting in her ass".  I'd like to try to keep a no farting rule in the car rule, but with all 3 of our gas... there's no way.

Make a wicked play list - lots of Cake, Weezer, Raffi, and Zack Attack, and Queen.

Wear Costumes and change in every state - We've packed tutus, troll masks, branch hands, pageant gear, beer wench outfits, and "the" big black dildo just in case.

Drug Kelly- so she can't pass gas, get motion sickness, or complain she has to pee every 5 minutes.

Doggie treats for Oliver - So he can feed them to Kelly.  He likes to do that.

Bring our "Smile if You're not Wearing Underwear" sign - works every time.  It's great.  It makes people smile and then realize they are smiling and have to explain to you through the window while going 80 miles an hour that they are wearing underwear.

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