Friday, May 5, 2017 at 5:31PM
Lindsey Gentile

When you were a young girl, all bright eyed and bushy tailed and excited about everything life had to offer you, you’d act out scenarios with your Ken and Barbie doll. You'd play make-believe and act out what you thought your life would look like in your 20’s, 30’s, and beyond. This is of course was before Ken made you cry because he cheated on you with Malibu Barbie, and then told you that he wanted to make it up to you by buying you the Barbie limo with the hot tub and then you guys bought the Barbie Mansion and lived happily ever after. Well, kind of.

Your 20’s

What you imagined your 20’s would look like- Before you were double-digits-years-old you imagined that at 25 you were going to be a newlywed.  You would marry a doctor or a successful lawyer and have a big house with a white picket fence, two dogs, and a bun in the oven.  

What your 20’s will really look like-  You are bloated from drinking too much because you graduated college and feel lost and are $20,000 in debt so it’s better to just drink and not think about it. And Chad, that douchey law school grad, never called you after you met him at that smelly dive bar and you put makeup on for him and you are pissed. 

Your 30’s

What you imagined your 30’s would look like - You have three perfect kids with no behavioral issues.  You and your perfect husband have so much money that you decide to retire and buy a boat.  You are very skinny multi-millionaires with perfectly straight, white teeth.

What your 30’s will really look like - You have a dog, you’re still single and you’re waiting tables for a living. You have a major toothache and probably need a root canal, but you don’t have health insurance so you let it ride.  You are thinking about going back to school because you have no idea what you want to do or be and your mom thinks you are a lesbian because you’re not married yet.


What you imagined your 40’s would look like- You never imagined your 40’s because 40 is really, really old.

What your 40’s will actually look like- Cats.  All I see are cats. And gingivitis. 


Article originally appeared on Big City Siren (
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