Tomorrow my sad, pale little toes will be reunited with the white sandy beaches of Miami Beach. I look forward to laying in the sun, with a cocktail in hand, and swimming in the warm, perfectly blue ocean. I don't miss Florida, but I do miss the beaches. They are so beautiful. I guess I didn't realize that no where else in the US has a beach that could compare to a South Florida beach until I left. Sorry New York Beaches, you don't even compare. From tomorrow until Monday I will be in Miami and Key West. So you know what that means, I need to shave my legs (When you live in New York, you stop doing that) and more importantly, I need to wax my insanely hairy vagina. Or Vajina, as it is called in latin culture. I am usually good at keeping myself well groomed down there but the past two months, I let it ride.
Every month I am diligent about my vagina hair removal. And yes, it's for me, not for anyone else. I like having no hair down there. My place is in my hood and it is a little overpriced, but it's a block away from my apartment, so that's where I went today when I was pressed for time. My usual hair removal artist (you like that?) was not there when I went in, so I put my vagina in the hands of a cute friendly bubbly woman from Nepal named Anna. I literally put my vagina in her hands.
Her tecnique was like nothing I have ever experienced. She would first to rip the hair off my body. Standard practice. But then she would whisper excitedly, "Yes!" if she got all the hair off that she wanted to remove and then forcefully blow on the newly bald spot to help the pain. Rip, Yes, blow with force, rip, yes, blow with force. She blew on every part of my nether regions, including the butt strip. A women blew on my butt hole. I can't believe it now. I couldn't believe it then. It was actually quite calming and intimate in a way. The whole process took about 45 minutes. (I guess the two extra steps, added a little time onto the process) but it was so worth it. She was so excited whenever the hair came out it was like we were going though something together. At the end, I hugged her and said, "Thank you for saving my life", paid and walked out.
Miami, I am ready for you, beeeacccch!